Style Academy #5

Abigail Napier

Writing 150

Sister Spooner

12/10/15

Style Academy #5

            I focused on the writing sentence section for this style academy. At first I was a little reluctant to choose something that seems so intuitive and simple. Of course I know how to write sentences! I’m in college, aren’t I? I was presently surprised, however that the video and accompanying exercises focused far more on how the structure affects the meaning of the sentence, rather than how to write one. I noticed this especially when I was coming up with ten different ways to combine “Myka sang” and “It surprised her mother.” Different sentences that I came up with alluded to different situations, even though I was keeping to the same main idea, and adding in very few other words. By rewriting the sentence by John Hersey I feel like I got a better understanding of how much information can actually go into a sentence. He gave an issue of the time, an example, and the effect of the issue all in one sentence. By doing this I feel like the idea was glued together better. I found this style academy to be one of the most beneficial ones that I have done, and I think it’s because it focused on a topic as simple as sentence structures. Since the topic is so simple, I don’t think that I have really had a lesson on it since middle school. If anything, it was a good refresher on making sure that I get the most out of my sentences by making sure their structures help my arguments, as well as the content does.  

Writing Sentences
Exercises

Combine these two sentences to make one sentence. Do it in as many different ways as possible. Shoot for at least 10 different ways to combine these two sentences.

Myka sang. It surprised her mother.

1. Her mother was surprised, because Myka sang.

2. Myka’s singing surprised her mother.

3. It was singing, Myka’s singing, that surprised her mother.

4. With her mother surprised, Myka sang.

5. Myka sang, and it surprised her mother.

6. Myka’s mother was surprised by her singing.

7. Surprising her mother, Myka sang.

8. Myka, surprising her mother, sang.

9. By singing, Myka surprised her mother.

10. Myka sang, which surprised her mother.

Rewrite the following sentence, word for word, and comma by comma. Imitate and copy this master writer. When you are finished, be prepared to talk to someone about what you learned just from copying it down.

Non-hibakusha employers developed a prejudice against the survivors as word got around that they were prone to all sorts of ailments, and that even those, like Nakamura-san, who were not cruelly maimed and had not developed any serious overt symptoms were unreliable workers, since most of them seemed to suffer, as she did, from the mysterious but real malaise that came to be known as one kind of lasting A-bomb sickness; a nagging weakness and weariness, dizziness now and then, digestive troubles, all aggravated by a feeling of oppression, a sense of doom, for it was said that unspeakable diseases might at any time plant nasty flowers in the bodies of their victims, and even in those of their descendants.

-John Hersey, Hiroshima

Non-hibakusha employers developed a prejudice against the survivors as word got around that they were prone to all sorts of ailments, and that even those, like Nakamura-san, who were not cruelly maimed and had not developed any serious overt symptoms were unreliable workers, since most of them seemed to suffer, as she did, from the mysterious but real malaise that came to be known as one kind of lasting A-bomb sickness; a nagging weakness and weariness, dizziness now and then, digestive troubles, all aggravated by a feeling of oppression, a sense of doom, for it was said that unspeakable diseases might at any time plant nasty flowers in the bodies of their victims, and even in those of their descendants.