Style Academy #4

Abigail Napier

Sister Spooner

Writing 150

8 December 2015

Style Academy #4

I found that doing these exercises very helpful for practicing writing and thinking actively. In general, we as society speak very passively. This often will translate directly into our writing, making it difficult or boring to read. As I practice more and more I find that I am able to write actively more often and it also becomes easier for me to recognize when I am using passive voice as I edit my papers.

Active Sentences

Exercises

Rewrite the following sentence to try to make it clearer.

The fact of the matter is that there exists a need for an investigation by the university into the usage of laptops by students in their classes.

The university needs to investigate how students use laptops in class.

Rewrite the next five sentences to make them more active. Follow the three rules that were suggested. To reinforce the meaning, you may need to add a subordinate clause.

1.    The analysis of the neurotransmitter serotonin by chemists has helped in the development of drugs for depression by pharmaceutical companies.

Chemists analyze neurotransmitter serotonin which helps pharmaceutical companies develop drugs for depression.

2.     Due to the fact that an attempt was made by the defense attorney to ensure the humiliation of the prosecution’s star witness, the witness’s crying resulted.

The prosecution’s star witness cried when the defense attorney attempted to humiliate him/her.

3.     What some people do not understand is that the wearing of bicycling shorts while shopping can cause stares from other shoppers.

Some people don’t understand that wearing bicycling shorts while shopping causes other shoppers to stare.

4.     The management of the paddle ball game manufacturing company on the part of the new CEO led to an increase in revenue beyond the company’s projections.

The new CEO of the paddle ball game manufacturing company led to a greater increase in revenue than projected.

5.     It is obvious that the student’s decision to stay home and eat tortilla chips and play League of Legends on the computer was what led to the dramatic plummeting of the student’s grade point average.

The student’s decision to stay home, eat tortilla chips, and play League of Legends on the computer led to the student’s grade point average plummeting.